The shops are full of merchandise for Valentines Day and it's a constant reminder that i'm probably going to end up as a spinster with 100 cats clambering all over the place!
How we are meeting people nowadays has completely evolved, even in the last decade or so. It's getting increasingly harder to know where to meet someone, it feels that we are limited to meeting people on apps or dating sites like Tinder, Grinder or Plenty of Fish - even social media has now opened a window in the dating market, with one particular app just requiring a swipe to the left or right to indicate whether we are interested in somone or not purely based on looks. It appears we now live in an extremely shallow society where people are looking for the perfect 'trophy' girlfriend or boyfriend despite whether they a compatible match or not.
"Don’t be too fat, or too thin, or too dark, or too light; don’t be too sexual, or too chaste, or too smart, or too dumb. Be yourself. But make sure you fit in."
Having used these type of sites/apps on and off for a number of years and judging by some of the types of messages that have been received, it just feels like it's a meat market with most people being on there for 'fun' or one night stands. The days of good old fashioned courting have been replaced by seedy messages and dirty pictures.
Are apps and dating sites like these ruining modern day dating completely?
With a long list of failed attempts of relationships, my love life makes Bridget Jones' look like a romantic novel! For the average person the dating game is fun and exciting but for me the idea of going on a date just fills me with dread. It feels like a job interview, where you're being judged and scrutinised at every single step. I came across the best line when reading an article which sums it up perfectly:-
'Dating is a revolving door of people with expectations.'
It is more confusing, has more competition and comes with more dating dilemmas than ever before. There are so many platforms nowadays, from Facebook to Snapchat, Whatsapp to POF, Tinder to Twitter, that allow us to meet and chat to a number of different people from all different walks of life - which can be a blessing and curse. Today everyone has attachment issues, is a commitmentphobe, not to mention will take anything seriously. Gone are the days where if something was broken you'd fix it nowadays if something is broken we just throw it away and 'buy' a new one.
Looking back I think I have wanted relationships for the wrong reasons but after reading a blog I have realised that... 'In reality, it’s about looking for a person that possesses qualities and flaws that harmonize well with yours. It’s not about finding someone who will fix all your problems, it’s about finding a person that will hold your hands while you each fix your own problems.'
Despite the cynical blog and no longer being the 'bright eyed and bushy tailed' naive girl that I once was...I'm still looking for that old fashioned romantic love...but until then it's time to focus on myself first.
Love Charlotte
The rants, quips and anecdotes of a twenty-something year old
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